My Christmas Wish…

This blog is to explain to my loyal readers what it is I want for Christmas if any of you were wondering.

I want to complete the Kentucky Derby Festival Mini-Marathon in April. That’s what I want for Christmas. An odd request for someone in December? Not for me.

There is something that most of you who read this blog will already know, but for anyone who doesn’t know me as well this may be quite eye-opening for you.  I am a serial stopper. Not necessarily a quitter, a stopper. Let me explain…I tend to get this new “thing”, over the years it’s been things like the guitar, working out, diet changes, reading novels, comic books, etc…honestly, a whole myriad of things. I get into them and “obsess” and read about them for quite some time (usually a couple of months) and interact with them. MOST of these things, I tend to have a decent initial knack for and then just….stop. I don’t mean like casually lose interest, I mean stop. Cold. Rarely do I go back to them. I sorely do NOT want this to happen with running, so I set a goal. The Mini.

There are two reasons that I don’t want to stop this time.

First, for years I’ve watched people who have accomplished amazing things on TV say, “I never knew I was capable of something like this, but I decided that I wanted to do it and set my mind to it.”, they usually finish with, “I just want everyone to know that if you set your mind to something, you can do it”. I realized a while back that I want that. I want to be able to say that. I’ve spent far too much of my life sitting on my butt LISTENING to people say that and never done it. Time for that to change.

Secondly, I am about embark in some potential changes in my life. My life as a minister is about to expand. I’m not 100% sure how yet, but it’s going to. I know it…I feel it. I want to make sure just because any changes that might come up, or times when things get hard that I don’t “stop”. I want to know that just because I don’t start able to do something that I can do it if I work hard. I need to know that just because it is difficult doesn’t mean it isn’t possible. I need to know I can do more than I think I can. I need to know I’m stronger than I think I am. I need to taste victory.

I am reminded of Jesus when he was talking about the one thing that man can’t do on his own….save himself. He said,

“With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God.”

I’ll take His word for it. Jesus didn’t just limit it to salvation. He said ALL things. ALL. When Jesus says it, it’s good enough for me. Wish me luck.

May you get what you really want for Christmas, Happy Holidays!!

Crossroads in December, 2009 Edition

Believe it or not, I do still post on this blog. As I start a new week my body is still battling the flu, although most of the major symptoms have gone,  and I’m still overall exhausted. I’ve never had a time in my life where I wake up after > 8hrs sleep and feel like I need 8hrs more. What’s worse is that everyone I see at work tells me, “Yeah, you look tired/bad/sick/etc”. Great guys…, thanks.

Anyhoo, the point of this blog is basically to say that I have come to a crossroads in my life. As I stand here (or sit in my cubicle) I am confronted with two or more possible paths for my life. I’m not sure why but December always seems to be a time of year when big changes happen to me.  The last two, no THREE job changes have occurred in/around December for me and honestly it is always a time when I begin to look around and determine if I’m satisfied with the year behind me and look forward to the next and wonder if I want to spend the next year in the same fashion. I’m sure I’m not the only one who does this considering the amount of people who make “New Year’s Resolutions” to make changes. The difference with me? They actually happen…just in December instead of January. Sweet….I’m ahead of the curve I guess.

When you take a look at your life and attempt to determine a direction I feel that it is imperative to look to God for guidance….any decision that has been purely my doing has pretty much been a muck-up. I’m reminded of Matthew 6 and 7….Jesus tells us essentially not to worry. He says in 6:25-34,

²⁵“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? ²⁶Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? ²⁷Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life^[b]?

²⁸“And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. ²⁹Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. ³⁰If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? ³¹So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ ³²For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. ³³But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. ³⁴Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

In all honesty, if you’ve been in church at all, you’re probably familiar with this scripture. I find myself constantly coming back to it.

I am the type who not only worries, but I obsess. When confronted with decisions/paths I tend to think of every possible angle I can and find a solution to EACH ONE. Thereby warding off any surprises that come my way. This is a terrible and depressing way to do things. Why? Because as humans we only focus, or maybe I should say PRIMARILY we focus on the negative aspects. Rarely do we see the way that this could work out positively for us. Maybe the way that God sees it to begin with…

As December continues expect changes in my life. I do. I truly believe that God does too.  I pray that if you are a reader of this blog, and God has called you to something that maybe frightens you….maybe something you’ve felt for a long time….maybe something you never thought you COULD do…I pray that God give you strength and direction. Clear direction.

God bless.

Ale-8-one (“A late one”, a southern drink reference)

My (few) readers will have to forgive me, I’ve been a bit busy since my lazy blog on Thanksgiving. Since then I picked up a new laptop (on it now) so I’ve been spending most of my time transferring files, data, etc instead of blogging. Sorry.

A couple of blogs ago I mentioned that I had begun running, something that I was quite a bit nervous about. I figured I would be absolutely terrible at it since as far back as I can remember I have always been pretty slow, and honestly I’ve always had issues with my knees/ankles/shins…not to mention the fact that for YEARS I’ve been very out of shape. This blog is just a quick little update as to my progress so far.

Today would normally be my “off” day. I have been running Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays/Saturdays depending on distance covered. I say normally because for the last 48-72 hours I have had what I can only describe as the flu..or close to it. I didnt run yesterday and I honestly missed it.

Since the last blog I have achieved the following:

1.3 miles with Jon X 3

3.2 miles with Jon X 1 (a 5k!!)

1.3 miles by myself X1

Let me just say this, if you are running with a partner or, like me, started running with a partner and find yourself without one it becomes much, MUCH harder. It seems that without the conversation, comparison, or maybe even a small amount of competition it is much more difficult to not get “in your own head”. That is when running gets hard, when you have no distractions. Honestly, running is painful and overall is very hard. Without something/someone to distract you find that you simply want to stop.

Isn’t that how it is with a lot of things though…?

Wish me luck as I continue…I believe I have decided to start training for the mini-marathon that is held here in Louisville for the Kentucky Derby Festival. I’ll keep you posted.

Thanksgiving

Just thought I’d use this medium to make sure that everyone who reads this blog knows how thankful I am for their attention. You could be reading anyones useless thoughts and ramblings, but sometimes for whatever reason you choose mine. Thanks!

Things I am thankful for:

God, Family, Friends….that pretty much sums it up. What can I say? I’m a simple guy.

More thoughtful, potentially insightful posts to come after the holiday. Be safe and have fun everyone!

Why you?…and while we’re at it, why ME?

So far this blog had just been some random, albeit important, thoughts I’ve had about God. Oh, and that one about my running, WHICH by the way I’m doing again tonight. I’m shooting for that 1.3 mile distance again. Why don’t I increase it? I don’t feel like it. I am also planning to hike 13 miles tomorrow…until YOU are doing that I dont’ wanna hear it…so there.

Anyway, as I was saying. This blog has been pretty much all about me…and it is most likely gonna stay that way. Often though, especially recently, when I think of “me” it also has to do with God. Why? Glad you asked…

The friends I have. Why do I have THEM?…and why do they have ME?

Let me explain something upfront so that there is no confusion. I am very capable of being a BAD FRIEND. I rarely return phone calls if I answer the phone at all. I usually think of how someone else’s plans are going to effect me and make decisions about my friends based on that. I like to surround myself with other “intelligent” people because stupid people annoy me (another topic for another blog). Finally, I choose people who have the same interests I do. While this last one may not seem like a bad thing, it often limits the ability I have to think “outside my box”.

Based on all that…why do my friends put up with me?

I have friends currently that I’ve been close to and have maintained weekly (if not multiple times weekly) contact with for over 15 years. I’m 28. I can name at least 5 of these. These are guys that I would willingly step in front of a bus for. They all seem to have these important lives and incredible character traits that I don’t possess. Essentially, I am extremely thankful for my friends, and wouldn’t trade them for the world. I could name them, but that’s useless. You know who you are.

Why did these people choose me as a friend? Do I bring something into their lives they need, or am I just “that guy that has always been a friend”…I have to believe that God had something to do with this. No, wait…he DID have something to do with this, I’m sure of it. As I said at the beginning of this blog, when I think of the things that are going on with me, I’m looking at those things and looking for God. I wonder if anyone else does this…

As I live my life I’m learning that friends with this amount of involvement and caring are few and far between for most people. It has made me take pause and think about what I’ve sown into these people’s lives, and is it really WORTH anything? Am I taking the time to make sure I give the best advice for what they are going through, or is it just my hip-shot opinion? Am I taking the time to make sure that they know how much I care?

I don’t know.

So here’s my resolution…to be a better friend. I’m making this before the New Year because I think those are stupid and empty. This one I want to be started because I see a true need for it.

I’ll let you know how good a friend I feel like being after I spend some hours in the woods with some of them tomorrow. Should be fun!

Ok, so this ministry thing…

Anyone know how to do it?

Seriously. I have watched many different ministries come and go over the years. The one thing that I’ve never understood? How they got started.  This is something that has plagued me about ministry ever since I decided that I wanted to go into it. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’ve been wishy-washy over the years with my walk with God, and only within the last three have I decided that I would maybe like to go into full-time ministry. Here within the last two it’s gotten a bit out of hand. When I was at Bible college the biggest fear (and the biggest one now) is saying, “Ok, I want to plant/start/build a church” and going out with that being a goal and never being able to figure it out. I’m afraid of rejection and failure. Seriously. I am sort of a “sure thing” type. Unfortunately, things with God aren’t always sure things, in fact they rarely are.

Since the decision was made for the last time (this time) I have been given some awesome opportunities in ministry. One of which is the one I am in now with our singles ministry. By no means let this post say that I don’t appreciate that, because I value it more than I can write in this blog. This is simply to say that eventually I would like to grow into the calling that I feel that God has for me. I LOVE studying about God. If I had all day every day, I would study his Word…looking for those things that He wants us to really see. To really get. Unfortunately the things of life get in the way more often than not, and as desperate as I am for God, I feel a bit like the seed cast among thorns. Slowly being choked. Maybe at least being conscious of it will help…

One point I want to make clear is that even when I was not living for God…I still knew. It would keep me up at night. The overwhelming feeling that I was missing out on my calling and using every minimal skill that I had in the wrong areas. I think that this “calling” is why every job I’ve had, all of them, have never satisfied me. I also feel like that’s why I always tend to be the counselor at any job I’m at…the one who takes the extra time for people to confide in and talk to. I DO care about people, and I feel like God made me a good communicator for a reason.

So I have a question for God. Heck, I’ll even throw it to anyone who reads my blog (though you are few and far between). If you are in ministry, or know anyone who is and has started their own. Any idea how they did it?

Part of me thinks that if I can’t get past this fear that is holding me back that I won’t reach the things God has for me…in fact, often I wonder what could have been if I had gotten it right the first time. Maybe by now I’d have something that He could be proud of me for…

God, help me. Help me be who YOU want me to be. Terry is dead. I choose to be your slave. Put me where you want. when you want, how you want. I don’t know how else to say it.

Tuesday night, Jan 17 2009

So tonight I try running for the first time. Again. I’ve honestly never done it with any meaning other than during a game or something. This time it’s for fitness…and I have an army sargeant helping me. This could end one of two ways…
Either I successfully drag myself to the end of this feeling motivated, like I have a goal, and surely very sore.
OR
I end up passing out and dying in the street amidst the rain. Again, surely very sore.
Wish me luck!!

Oh, the starting distance? 1.2 miles. This should be good…

Just a quickie…

To anyone who reads this blog, it’s still active, I have just been extremely busy and haven’t been able to sit at the computer in days…well, not without some purpose other than randomly sharing my thoughts.

Also, Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2 came out last week…yeah, kind of a big video game nerd so that has taken PLENTY of my time.

Anyway, I am coming off a fantastic weekend with our college/career age singles ministry at our church. We call it SHIFT, and so far I feel like it has been successful. SHIFT is not an acronym for anything (thought that would be lame), it just stands for the oft-overlooked community of believers that fall between youth group age and “big church” age. As someone who came out of a very “dynamic” youth group to a very “soft” big church, there was definitely a need for something to help me mature in Christ during the time period when I was making some of the most important decisions in my life. Also, since our church has such great small groups for our married couples, one aimed toward the single people is ideal as well.

The activity that we did last weekend was a retreat to Gatlinburg, TN. I LOVE Gatlinburg, and this time of year it’s just beautiful. The focus of the retreat was “can you hear me now” and our singles got the privilege of hearing not only your’s truly (shameless plug), but also 3 other leaders in our church. Retreats like these are my favorite. Where else can you get so intimate with people AND learn about God at the same time? And let’s not forget shopping, touristing, and other what-nottery that can occur on a vacation!

My prayer for our ministry in the future is not only growth in numbers…but growth in our people. I hope that everyone who went on the retreat truly heard from God this weekend and have come back with ideas, strategies and truth about God that will truly effect their walk and future.

But, as ministers…isn’t that what we’re always after?

Cold weather + Cow poop = Lesson learned

Tonight I heard a great story from a man whom I truly respect as an inspiring man of God…it goes something like this:

There was a little bird who was preparing to fly south for the winter. For whatever reason he decided to hang back and let the large crowd of migrating birds go on ahead so that he could enjoy a nice peaceful flight with no headaches or traffic jams. Well, the time came and he began his trek down south. About halfway there he realized that he may have waited way too long to start his journey, it was getting cold. Fast. Soon after this he realized that his wings were becoming frozen in the air and he wasn’t able to move them very easily. Before he knew it he was heading STRAIGHT INTO THE GROUND.

WHAM.

There he lay, with frost all around on the ground and no way to fly, he was stuck. Hope was lost. Suddenly a large female cow lumbered over to where the bird was, the bird was so depressed from his predicament he didn’t tweet or even try to move as the cow walked right over top of him. The bird then realized something…the cow was about to release some processed grass right on top of him! Before he could react a huge pile of cow poop was pelting him all over his body. The stench was terrible. Tired, pride destroyed, and now covered in dung the bird thought he had officially reached rock bottom. About this time the bird realized something amazing, the warmth of the fresh poo was melting the ice on his wings!! Soon he would be able to fly again…if only he could get all this poop off of him.

He began to tweet and sing with all of his might, he tweeted and tweeted and tweeted until his little voice was almost gone…but the ice was almost gone too. So he gave it one last trumpet of sound and heard help approaching, he turned to find his savior. A barn cat. The cat quickly devoured the little bird.

The point of the story?

1. Not everyone who craps on you is your enemy

2. Not everyone who helps you is your friend

Being genuine

For this blog….it’s more of a reference piece to something I found on the internet today.

Just for a disclaimer, I have been a sucker to these types of preachers before, before God taught me real discernment and the ability to tell jewels from fools I bought into this “type” of ministry. Read the link in its entirety and then come back for some thoughts from your’s truly…

http://www.deceptioninthechurch.com/popoffback.html

So…what did you think? If you are even a halfway intelligent non-Christian person you should have been able to see through that lump of refuse without the play by play from the article writer. Seriously, can you BELIEVE that? For me, that gets filed in with the crap of “Holy water”, “Prayer cloths”, and “Mass request prayers” (you know, where you see the guy in the $3000 suit praying over envelopes with checks in them) that get performed all the time by many of the larger evangelists. Now don’t think I’m going to bash all evangelists, I’m not. In fact, I’m one who believes that as the body of Christ it is our job to support leaders in the body to perpetrate unity. There’s enough division in the outside world without us constantly calling each other into question.

This issue is different…the issue is these religious or possibly sin driven/oriented actions that are being used nowadays in churches. Again, not ALL churches do this, not ALL Mega-churches do this, but there are enough doing it to really drive me nuts. I can’t stand crap like this. As someone who wants to be in full-time ministry, and simply has NO idea how to even get started I am frustrated by the success of men who seem to ONLY be in it for personal gain. I feel like Job, I feel like David…they had MAJOR issues with the way that the wicked seem to excel…but I must remember that it is only for a short time, and they will be found out.

I hope that we all as we pray are praying for discernment in our lives..and I personally am praying that I never fall prey to the things that would motivate a (possibly) man of God to get completely taken over by false doctrine, religion, greed and fame.

I’m stepping off my soapbox now.