I didn’t want to. Alas, they are there. Almost every single one of them has to do with how I’ve handled my marriage and friendships.

I’ve spent the morning wondering why I’m awake and reading through all of my old blogs. I was a very encouraged guy at times…amazing how much things can change. Amazing how much things can stay the same.

I have blogs talking about the following:

Integrity… (not lying) 2 of these
Being a better friend…
Giving people bad news…
Paying more attention to my wife (realizing how easy it was to take someone for granted)…
Trusting God for my life…

Know what? Recently ALL of these have become a huge part of my life. Why? Because my marriage is falling apart…ending, I’ve had to examine my circle of friends to see if they truly even still want anything to do with me and have had to be BRUTALLY honest with everyone and myself.

This has caused me to walk into 2012 with about 6-7 solid years worth of regrets and guilt. I’ve had my heart ripped out…and I’ve fiercely clawed at other’s hearts hoping they, just for a second, feel what I feel. I’ve loved and hated…screamed and cried…stood up and came crashing down to my knees.

And you know what? After a few days of fasting and prayer I’ve realized something:

I’m going to be ok.

One other thing that reading through my blogs has told me is that God is taking care of me. For some reason He has chosen for my life to encompass all of these recent struggles. Which means I’m going to come out of this…and I’m going to be better.

I’m taking my regrets and I’m turning them into resolve. I normally hate resolutions at this time of year but I am resolving to take every area of my life that has caused me to have regrets and fix them.

I will live a life of honesty and openness. No matter the consequences.
I will trust God.
I will make my friends know I love them.
I will never take another romantic relationship for granted.

Because I, and my life, are worth it. I still have tons of things in my life to be proud of and I won’t forget that. The best years of my life are on their way. You should totally stick around to hear about them.

I will finish with a bit of scripture in case I need it next time I read this:

You turned my wailing into dancing;
you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, (Psalm 30:11 NIV)

Happened to me just now. It’s 7am on a Saturday and I’m laying in bed alone and wide awake. No idea why. Things like this just make me worry a bit…makes me pray that everyone I know is ok.

One more thing I notice is that NO ONE is on social media. Twitter is dead and I’m sure Facebook is too. I mean, what kind of loser would be checking social media at 7am following a Friday night?? I mean, who else who had a good Friday night would be posting on social media??

So since I’m awake I think I’ll give myself a thought that I may need again some day. “Other people’s opinion of you doesn’t matter. It’s none of your business anyway.”
I feel remarkably free this week. I am beyond thankful for this. It’s been a rough life since October and it’s nice to feel like maybe I’m healing and realizing just how amazing I’m going to be when I come out of all this.

I’m ready to take that first REAL breath of fresh air. Ocean-tinged air.

Forget all of this, I’m moving to Florida for sure. This year.

I applied for a small credit card for emergencies and hotels and such. I knew I shouldn’t have! I cancelled all my cards and cut them up a couple years ago…now I remember why.

I got my FIRST statement today. My first…what did it have on it? An annual fee (GRRRRRR) and a LATE charge. WTF?!

So I decide, eff it, it’s 11pm but this number says 24 hours, I’ll show those crazy suckers.
Wrong.
I got Habeeb. Habeeb is apparently from India. At least he didn’t say his name was Peggy.

Anyway, this guy tells me they aren’t waving fees, blah blah. Then I hit him with, “Dude, I don’t even have your card!!” Yeah, they have never even sent me a card and they are charging me mother-lovin fees!!

At this point he transfers me to Trianca “Alex” who orders me a new card. Now, of course “Alex” can’t handle the late fee…no, she’s just in security. ANOTHER TRANSFER!!

To “Joe” (at least Habeeb was honest about his name) who says she can waive the fee (duh) and accept payment. Alright you slick, curry-filled diva, I’ll bite. I want to pay the balance to ZERO.
I knew this would throw her because she must do ‘murrican math. After taking 10 minutes to subtract $25 (at one point telling me owed somewhere in the neighborhood of $130) I finally held her hand and walked her trough how to add $1.10 to $50. Seriously.

Anyway, bill paid and card sent. This is why I hate credit card companies.

This is a cigar picked out for me by my wife (with a little help). It’s an E.P. Carillo. Thats about all I know. Shorter than I usually smoke, maybe 5in long and a light wrapper. (should have taken a picture before lighting…duh)

Wrapper is smooth and tight, no noticeable weak spots when squeezed. Lights easily Deals with being lit in the wind and evens out nicely. 1/4 inch in the burn is a perfect ring. Ash is snow white and not flaky.

Initial tones are spice and bitterness but I think that had to do with the amount of butane it took to light…

First half is light and mild. Easy to “swallow” the smoke on this one. Is that sweet tea I’m picking up?…yeah…cool.

Easy draw with a little tobacco bite at the end if you puff twice. Smoke released from the mouth is thin and dissipates quickly (Non-gangsta…in a little breeze)

smoking note this ash stays like a champ until about two inches.

1/3 of the way in the flavor becomes less sweet and more like a cup of black coffee…weak black coffee with maybe one sugar and a touch of “earthiness”.

Spice is gone at the halfway mark, replaced by a clean almost minty tinge…Screw normal description, I’ll use what I can.

smoking note no re-light needed at the wrapper. Still drawing cool.

Last third the taste turned “green”…and no, I’m not sure I can clarify. Mouth started to dry so I (my wife) added a dirty gin martini. A decent complement.

One final re-light near the fingertips and allowed to die honorably.

Since I have no benchmark this one gets a solid 5/10. I’d recommend a drink of some sort, perhaps a gin martini or some other slightly sweet drink. A very good cigar.

Support your local cigar shop!:
Riverside Cigars Lounge
Kremer’s

Know how I knew how to do this? Look back at the last blog to find out. Someone, at some time, took a second to tell me what an A. Fuente Work of Art is…or introduced me to something as simple as an Oliva serie O.

Unfortunately I had to choose these with no help, no advice and no discussion from the shop worker. I’ve been told that it is a rarity to get bad service at this particular shop…but that doesn’t change my experience. Will I go back? No. ….Maybe.

I can’t say it enough to cigar shop owners…heck liquor store, furniture store or any other small business man. INVEST in your customers. All of them, even the stupid looking young ones…we are the future of your business, like it or not. And we know how to use social media…

I’m looking forward to enjoying my selections, maybe I’ll tell you guys what they’re like.

-Terry

Have we no service industry anymore?!

I want an attendant to check my oil and pump my gas. And I want someone to bring me a pizza dang it!!

Who knew something like this could make me appreciate my parents.

You know why?

Because I don’t know how to do ANY household repairs, outside maintenance,etc. Most guys have stopped reading at this point but hold on…this makes me extremely impressed with my parents and actually inspires me a bit.

You see, my parents were able to tackle full time work, household chores (like the ones I’ve described and more) plus raising me and make it appear effortless and seamless. They never were too busy for me…yet I never paid attention to them hurrying around or being stressed like I am.

I still have a lot to learn from them….

Thanks Mom and Dad, this post-chore cigar is being lit in your honor.
Riverside Cigar Shop

Winning!!

Anyway, here’s the original:

http://www.stogieguys.com/2011/08/08222011-commentary-welcome-to-the-shop.html

It was posted by the owner of Riverside Cigar Lounge in Jeffersonville, IN. A fantastic, small, comforting cigar shop that :gasp: (no pun intended) allows for people to smoke inside. Well, the local government allows it but who cares.

The article delves into what it takes to attract younger smokers to a cigar shop and essentially how to get them to support your business. The article makes some good points but the best one, by far, is that we younger smokers appreciate it when someone takes us under their wing to show us the ropes. My first exposure to REAL cigars came at another shop in Louisville with two buddies from work. These older guys took me into the humidor, talked with me, found something that I liked and sat WITH ME and shared time.

That last part is important too. Many people just don’t understand why I would want to go and sit and smoke with a bunch of other people. Because you get to interact with people. You get to know what they do, where they’re from, what they do for a living…much more worthwhile time spent than the usual movie or bar…plus you get to partake in one of the classic, cool hobbies ever. Having people around you that you respect or who are willing to invest a little of their time and wisdom into you is attractive to us “younger” smokers. If any older persons who enjoy cigars are reading this…learn this well if you want to see your hobby TRULY survive.

I really appreciate Jeff (the owner of Riverside) and the others who have helped me find such a fun hobby…I promise to guard it and pass it on as you have for me.

-T

Here’s why:

If you do this you’re lying. Simple lying. You’re a LIAR. Son of the devil biblically….

Was that extra few minutes, that extra few dollars or that bit of “face” you think you saved worth your very integrity? If so, then it wasn’t worth much to begin with.

Tell the truth. Sometimes it sucks…but please don’t lie.

At least make it a good enough one where you don’t get caught…for the other person’s sake.